War on the new year


So during the last week or so, the things trending in my facebook news feed were: the war on christmas, on why atheists can celebrate christmas, on why you can remove the “christ” from the christmas, and all those trying to remind that it is a mythmas. I have never given a fuck about christmas and this year is was no different. I am not into celebrating birthdays either. 2014 is just there and my balance in personal ‘fucks account’ is still zero. However, I totally understand, feel and not enjoy people celebrating these things. Its fun to watch and analyze how others get crazy. But this post is not about my personal preferences. It is about the incompetent yet pathetic war on celebration of the new year. But why did I tell you about me? We’ll see that later on…

Impersonally, I find January 1st, the best festival humanity has ever bothered to celebrate. It is the only part of the year when, for the greatest portion of human population, all the individual differences don’t matter. Some nationalists have pointed out to me that the Indian youth should celebrate the Indian Independance day more passionately than January the 1st. I often want to go “its like an animal celebrating the passage of a multiple of 365.25 days since the conquest of its native territory”. But I don’t, let them whine, I say. And as far as the country of my birth and residence (India) is concerned, the idea of independance is so funny, its almost like christmas, based on a propagated myth. If I happened to be in those countries where the idea of Independance makes sense, I might throw away a few social fucks about it, but its still about the shitty sibling of religion called nationalism. January 1st is, (and its likely to remain so for many years to come), the only day where the celebration crosses most political, regional, religious, social and economic and whatever fucking  differences.

Now someone would argue the same about christmas, as it does cross many of the barriers that January 1st does. Yes on December 25th, the majority of the human population does settle down and celebrate. Don’t worry I m not bringing the time travelling muslims to strengthen the case against christmas. A good fraction of non-christians don’t celebrate christmas at all (without having having any form of butthurt-itis characteristic of those time travelling muslims). Their reason would be simple, they don’t have enough christian friends around to create the hype. Or they never grew up celebrating christmas. India would be a good example, in a lot of clusters, people just treat christmas as a holiday, not a reason to celebrate. Of those that do celebrate, I dont think they share the same feelings about the festival. And there are things that people talk on each christmas like: the war on christmas, the boring historical reminders about the truth of december 25th and debates about the same, parent discussions about the recommended modifications in the myth about santa for children and blah blah. When the whole world needs a common day to celebrate, it has to be essentially free of time-inappropriate discussions like these.

It’s not the same with January 1st, people have more or less the same reasons for celebration and there little or no irritating discussions on the day. People relate their life events to the common global calender. It does make some sense to program yourself into pretending that, at the end of a calender year, your old shit is left behind, while in the head feeling that a long duration of time, called an year, has passed away and you need to gear up in life, do the things you are missing out on, or just recollect your year in a flashback. Just pointing that we don’t tend to do this rethinking and revaluating process on any other day, not even the birthday. Another important reason, it is on this day that we can mourn for the extremist muslims, who prefer to live as living fossils and declare a war on this peaceful festival.

Images of this kind are being shared as a part of this impotent verbal attack on the new year.


I encountered one such person today, in real life. She is a well respected and loved teacher. I didn’t bring in the topic of new year or even anything remote, not today, not ever! She knew I wasn’t going to do anything about the change of date, especially since I use only digital calenders! But she had to bring it out of nowhere, as a conversation starter, and piss me off…

She: I am glad that I am not a slave of the christians to celebrate their festivals, I am not going to wish anyone on the christian new year. (It is funny how these burqa packed women call others as slaves).

Me: Thanks for mentioning, it doesn’t make sense to wish you for the new year 2014, when I am the only one among us who is moving into it!

She: What? (she obviously didn’t get the intended joke, which is why I am telling you)

Me: But I am sorry I didn’t wish you on your birthday. (fake apology, obviously)

She: And I took care of it by not wishing you on yours, although I know you don’t care about your own birthday.

Me: Hmm. Very nice and smart of you to take your revenge without even hurting me. Your lot should learn something from you.

She: Yeah, whatever. (She was clearly offended about the phrase “your lot” but I strongly suspected that she didn’t catch any other part of the sentence. It is one of the techniques these theists use, they just don’t listen you intently, all their limited attention is for those more fanatic than themselves).

Me: (I couldn’t resist to clarify) I meant that if your lot could figure out ways to take a revenge without bombing others every now and then, that would do a lot good to the world.

She: (Vey angry) It is only a tiny fraction of muslims who blow up people. Islam means peace.

Me: (postponing the laugh about the second statement). I agree they are a smaller portion, but how are you different from them? Are you telling me that the audience of the gladiator shows who did the “thumbs down” were in principle, any different from the people who actually murdered others for fun?

I don’t care how each one of you interprets the quran, for each one of you is obviously free to follow things prevalent in the modern society, that are not dictated in quran, because for instance you celebrate your birthday. Did Mohammed celebrate his birthday? What kind of doll did Aisha demand for her 7th birthday? (She ran away but I continued in my head)…. It is the change you would want to see in the world that matters. A hardworking teacher and a suicide bomber, both think that jews and christians are what is wrong with the world. You belong to “their lot” precisely because you are travelling back in the same time-machine, you might be on the passenger seat, some of the others might be in the driver’s seat, but all of you want more and more people on board, including your infants and children. Is there even a single day in your muslim calender when all muslims unite to prove the world how your religion is a religion of peace?